Why is self talk so important?
You might think that how you talk about yourself isn't that important. But trust me, it is. I don't know about you, but I do a LOT of self-talk, and it's not all positive. That's not to say it does have to all be positive all of the time, but imagine what life would be like if we had a little bit more compassion for ourselves, spoke to ourselves as though we were talking to a friend, and made a bit more of an effort to rephrase some situations.
Freud first created the idea that we have both conscious and unconscious levels of thought, with unconscious cognitive processes influencing our behavior in ways we don't even realise until we make an effort to create that awareness.
Research from sports professionals, dieticians, and psychologists shows that changing how you talk to yourself can positively change behaviour.
Unfortunately, this negative thinking can crop up in different ways (annoying, I know). Do you ever start to blame yourself for everything or expect the worst in a situation - rather than focusing on the evidence you have in front of you? Or is everything a polar opposite, and there's no middle ground?
Being mindful about this and learning to identify your negative thinking might be good to start if this is ringing little alarm bells in your ears.
Five ways to help improve your self-talk and set yourself up for success.
You might be thinking, why do I need to improve it anyway? It can help reduce stress, boost confidence and resilience, help build better relationships and achieve your goals.
So here are five ways to get started:
1. Identifying self-talk traps. Where is it happening a lot? By pinpointing where it's happening, you can start to anticipate it and then prepare.
2. Utilise positive affirmations Sometimes, seeing positive affirmations or images can help you redirect your thoughts. Or break them momentarily. Use post it to put reminders around your home or office.
3. Check-in with your emotions regularly it might not feel natural at first, but check in regularly with how you are feeling and evaluate what you are saying to yourself. Is it becoming negative? Is there a way you can turn it around?
4. Don't be afraid to create boundaries. Some people don't bring out the best in us. You might identify that when you work on the self-talk traps. They might encourage you to think negatively about yourself or in general. It's okay to create boundaries around when and how you interact with those people. You might not even want to interact with them at all. And that's okay. You're the average of the five people you spend most of your time with - you can change that list.
5. Would you say it to a friend? Without giving it a second thought, we'll often think and say something negative about ourselves and how we have handled a situation. But would you say the same thing to a friend? If not, maybe it's time to rethink how you're talking to yourself.
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