Why understanding your values will change your life.

I know it’s a bold statement. It’s something I hadn’t really considered a couple of years ago. What does it matter that I know them? I know what I like and what I don't like - does it need to go deeper than that? Yeah probably. Here's why.

Values, in simple terms, are your judgment about what is essential in life, how you do things, and what you value.

Our values are programmed within us fairly early on - and influenced by those around us growing up, so if we don't know what they are - when we're setting goals, it means they can pull us apart, cause us to procrastinate, and get in our own way!

You can have aspirational values - where you want to move towards and values where you are currently or where you want to move away from.

It wasn't until I was recovering from my breakdown in 2019 that I started to consider them. Up to that point, I had never sat down and thought about what I valued and what I didn't. I just did things, if that makes sense?

I started to understand that if I was doing something that made me feel underwhelmed, or didn't really 'feel right,' or something jarred with me, it was likely because what I was doing didn't align with my values.

How often do you feel like that in situations? When did you last stop to think about what made you feel happy, brought you joy, and made you feel aligned with your own life?

This newfound awareness made me reevaluate what I was doing, what brought me joy and alignment, and what made me frustrated or anxious and did not align. It wasn't a quick 30-minute process, and I was all sorted. It took time!

They can change as you do

I started to understand that it's okay that values change. What I valued last year wasn't the same as it was today. And that was OKAY. Let me give you an example. Before I had my breakdown, having structure at work wasn't that important to me. I saw no real value in it. I was more than happy to fly by the seat of my pants most of the time and work on things off the cuff. However, after the breakdown, I craved structure throughout my life, especially in a work scenario. So I worked to make sure that I had a sense of structure in my job. I did this by talking to my managers to work out a way to get the structure I needed to do my job.

Creativity is another one of my core values, and I found that if I didn't have the opportunity to be creative, I felt stagnant, disappointed, sometimes frustrated, and upset. So I would spend the time to find something that helped me fill up my creativity cup.

Different values for different people.

Our hierarchy of values is also essential to consider, especially when talking to and dealing with other people. Also, because one value can mean different things to different people, our definitions of the same value could be WILDLY different. They will come into a situation and have a narrative based on their own values and beliefs, which could be very different to yours.

For example, honesty might rank at number one for us in our values list but might be fourth/fifth on the scale for someone else. So you might be really frustrated about a situation because it is pressing against your value of honesty, but for others, they’re not batting an eyelid. ‘WHY AREN’T YOU TAKING THIS SERIOUSLY. HOW CAN YOU NOT BE ANNOYED BY THIS?!’. It’s probably just not that important to them…or they’re an ass. But hopefully it’s the values mismatch.

It’s definitely something that we should pay attention to in an office environment (actually probably any environment), and could help diffuse any potential conflict situations. Consider this: If you want someone to do something and they’re not being responsive - how can you frame the situation for them in a way that aligns with their values?

How can I start to understand my values more?

Here are a few steps that you can take. Remember, this is not a sprint to the finish line - it takes time and patience to get this right. But once you do, it's going to help you so much - with decision making, goal setting and getting you to where you want to be.

• A good place to start is thinking about the different areas in your life - work, relationships, health, family - whatever is important to you.

• Then, start to think about what you value in each of those areas. If you're struggling to think about all the different values, don't worry, there's a list here:

• Then think about how you are meeting those values in that area of your life. Finally, ask yourself, are those values aspirational? Or are they values you hold right now?

If you'd like more insight into your values - make sure you're signed up for my newsletter - I'll be releasing dates for my values workshop in 2022.